“I don’t stop short of the red gate.”
These words rang through my head as I was contemplating stopping my run about half a mile short of the end of the loop. A friend had said this one morning while we were running — emphatically staked her ground with a rod of discipline. This is also the same friend that very comfortably announced: “ I don’t share my pizza with others. I eat a whole one by myself” the first time that I ate out with her for a work related event. I loved her immediately.
I needed this nudge of “red gate discipline” this particular day. I had set out for a bit of longer run than usual. Not because I am training for anything. Only to make amends with that determined part of myself that had been drained of spunk. I simply needed to do what I said I was going to do. Just for myself. Period.
Discipline can take on many personalities for each of us…type A, driven, strict, structured, organized. It can also be a very powerful tool for growth and staying connected with our real, inner self. As with anything in life, too much of it can cause harm, but just enough of it can be very serving. Learning when to exert enough discipline to get you to your red gate is a skill that takes practice. Learning what it feels like to stop short of the red gate is also helpful – letting ourself down isn’t such a great feeling. Neither is muscling our way to the gate when we know it would be more serving to stop.
I have been working with this concept of discipline for a while now and I have learned a few key things to share:
- Discipline is a tool that can and should be used to help me continue to stay aligned with my values and to help me grow. I have learned to let go of the negative connotations of discipline (“You are too disciplined”) and I have developed a lot of gratitude for the tool.
- Discipline comes more easily at some times and not at others. That’s okay. That doesn’t mean that I AM a disciplined or I AM a lazy person. It simply means that sometimes I have to dig deeper than other times and sometimes, when I kick into discipline overdrive, I need to back up and gain some perspective.
- Red Gate Discipline is most effectively used when it is grounded in clear goals or intentions. Being thoughtful about *what* you intend is an important first step in the practice of living mindfully. Discipline is part of the *how* you carry out this intention or meet your goal.
- Discipline is directly related to staying balanced in life. Sometimes we get into habits that become so comfortable and lead us to put too much of our life energy into a few areas of our lives. Even though we know the importance and value of other areas of life, these habits are so easy and comfortable that it is easier to stay out of balance…for a while…until we are no longer satisfied or joyful. That is where the discipline needs an invitation into our lives. It takes discipline — Red Gate Discipline — to say no to some things and yes to others. And through this practice of saying no to some things and then yes to others, we come back into better balance.
- It is an amazing feeling when you reach that red gate and contribute another little drop of confidence into the “I can do this” bucket.
Where could your life use a little Red Gate Discipline? Is there anywhere in your life that has too much Red Gate Discipline? I’d love to hear about your red gates!
Thanks, Amy, for your red gate discipline inspiration!
